A few people have mentioned that my blog has brought tears to their eyes. I am not sure why as most of what I have written has been happy stuff. I think. But, writing this entry made ME cry-- so feel free to skip it and just go on to the next.
Louisa has been a surprisingly happy and easy going little girl. Sometimes when she is mid giggle and jumping up and down on me, Neal and I will look at each other and say, "guess orphanage life wasn't so bad?". It is so hard to imagine what her life was like before coming to us. We know that she was at a fairly nice orphanage -- but, it was still an orphanage in China.
I was insistent that we all get out of the hotel room today -- even though it was raining and messy -- because we all needed a change of pace. After 20 minutes of walking around outside under an umbrella, Louisa started to lose it. I am not sure if she has ever been out in the rain before. And, then I realized that Lulu has probably spent the past 11 months of her life moving between the same 2 or 3 rooms and didn't need a change or pace. They didn't go on field trips. I am not sure how much time they spent outside (if any), but she probably didn't go past their courtyard.
So, it is no wonder that some times she has a hard time falling asleep. New people, new places and new foods must overwhelm her. I suspected that the first few nights of easy to bed and then an all-night sleep might not last. But, that didn't make the 90 minutes I spent rocking her to sleep any easier.
The adoption attachment books I read were pretty clear that you don't want to let a new baby "cry it out" -- that this is the time to help them learn that they now have someone who will respond to them and soothe them and give them what they need. So, when I think about this, and all the times she probably didn't have anyone to rock and soothe her, it gives me a perspective on who she is that makes all the rocking worthwhile. And hearing her big sigh and snuggle when she finally calms down makes the last 4 years of paper chasing and waiting fade away.
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