Really?

I knew that Lulu might cause a few stares -- partly because she is the cutest/wildest thing ever, but also because she looks so different than the rest of us. And while I hate being looked at, I totally understand. I think adding Perrin in to the mix makes it even more confusing (are they both adopted? different fathers? is she from another family? if they can have biological kids, why would they adopt?). But, I have been surprised by some of the questions people ask.

"Does she look like her father?". "Can I assume she is adopted?". "So where is this cutie from?".  I don't mind any of these questions and kind of find them funny as I know what they are asking and appreciate the attempt to be polite.

But last weekend we had our first truly annoying experience. We were at a car dealership beginning the process of finding a new car. I hate buying cars, so I was already in a foul mood. First there was the saleswoman trying to emphasize the small third row in a competitors car.  "The third row is so small you can only put children or Chinese people back there!" she squealed. I let her know that I have both -- and furthermore my Chinese child could take out her dumb Caucasian toddler. Later that day I brought Lulu in to test drive a few cars -- and perhaps cause a little chaos in the showroom. As I walked through the door carrying my little bundle of joy, a salesman stopped me in my path and said, "Is that your daughter?" After I replied yes, he leaned in for a closer look and said, "Really?".  It would have been an appropriate time for Lulu to reach out and pull his hair or pinch his nose, but she just sat there and smiled. Maybe she saves the pain for those she loves, or maybe she just pitied the man. I was too speechless to react and just stammered, "uh..yeah".

Thankfully the majority of people are lovely and accepting. And, I have noticed that if Lulu is with me I can get away with all sorts of things. I can push to the front of  a ticket line, I can take 30 items through a 15 item express lane at the grocery store, I can even get away with lots of crying in public places (both Lulu and I) without any dirty looks. I just hold Lulu up in front of me like a trophy and most people smile and give me a break. I even rolled down my back car window the other day to show the person that I had honked at a view of Lulu's cute face. Their frown turned upside down and we were all happy.  Next up is robbing a bank -- baby needs a new pair of shoes!

As time goes by...

Lulu is such a happy little girl. But, also a loud little girl. I can't believe she has only been with us a few months as she seems such a big part of our family. She no longer walks anywhere -- she runs full tilt. She always has a few cuts and bruises from the inevitable falls, but I am amazed at how agile she is. I think Perrin was just learning to walk at this age!

She spends HOURS on the slide Kristie gave us. At first it was just learning how to climb the ladder and go down. It has evolved in to balancing on her tip toes at the top and attempting to walk straight down the steep incline. It is hard to watch, and she does fall a lot, but she keeps trying.  At the playgrounds, slides are always her favorite. She will take off at a run and I have to sprint to catch her before she attempts to climb up backwards. I do so much running after her these days that I always wear an exercise bra and sneakers. She wears me out!

Lulu and Perrin have become much closer. She loves to sneak up behind him and climb on his back. The two of them spend a lot of time playing ball and laughing together. I had to tell both Neal and Perrin to use 'real' words and appropriate body motions with Lulu. They spend so much time joking around with her using silly words and patting their bellies that I am starting to worry it could impact her development! She does have a fabulous laugh...

Lulu seems to love most food other than yogurt. She is a fantastic vegetable and fruit eater and may be the only person in the house that truly enjoys kale. I know it might not last, but in the meantime I am having fun stuffing as many vegetables in to her as I can. She especially loves warm tomato based soups. It reminds us of when we were in China at a small local restaurant with Zhou-Feng and Hong Bin. They had ordered tomato fish soup and it was one of the first real foods we gave Lulu. I was overjoyed that she ate most of my portion.

We are working on words, and while Lulu seems to understand quite a bit ('put the ball on the slide', 'can you bring me a book?' and 'put the baby in the stroller"), she isn't saying much. I think I heard her say, "in" one afternoon while we were practicing putting cough drops back in their box. And she says some type of "Hello" with a wave to strangers who don't immediately coo at her. I am not worried as she seems to be coming along very well. She occasionally will repeat a phase immediately after I say it, but not again. Most recently it was, "F**k it!" right after I banged my head really hard. It was clear as day coming out of her mouth, but luckily never again repeated.

All in all she is a joy and fills our hearts and makes us laugh on a daily basis. But, man am I tired at the end of the day!

Almost our 2 month anniversary of arriving home in Seattle

Someone asked me the other day if I thought Lulu was getting used to her new life -- and I honestly had to stop to figure out what they were asking. I forget Lulu is new to us. I almost don't remember what our family felt like before she was added (but,  I remember being a lot less exhausted). For the most part, I think Lulu's personality was apparent on our first day getting her. She was sweet, but fiesty and strong. And, she is still the same way but magnified by a googleplex (I am not sure if this is a real word, but Perrin uses it all the time with confidence). 

We have had glowing reports from our doctor's visists. Her lab tests were all normal and in the two visits she has bounded up the growth chart. And she is strong! If there is a sport that invovles throwing heavy objects over your head behind you, she will rule it. Her nickname of "smack smack run" is proving less and less true, but when she does smack, it packs a wallop. And I am constantly amazed at her ability to climb on to things. She turned a tall soup pot over and was able to wiggle her way atop it, get her feet underneath her and stand up. It kind of reminded me of the seal act at Seaworld.

Lulu doesn't sleep much during the day, but goes to bed early and sleeps 13 hours straight. Which is wonderful, but I am exhausted by the end of her day and have only enough energy to stare at the wall.  We have been working hard to babyproof the house, but she keeps finding ways to show us up. If there is something to be choked on within her reach, it is guarenteed to find its way in to her mouth. Pennies and Legos seem to be her favorite.  She has become very quick to climb stairs, and even quicker once at the top to turn around and proceed to jump down the stairs. We have been able to catch her every time, but I worry about the day we are a little bit slow. But, her favorite activity is to bee-line to the dog's water bowl and splash. She knows her time is limited before we catch her and move it, so she usually starts with a grand act of putting her face straight in to the bowl and blowing bubbles before moving on to dumping the water all over the floor. And, if the water bowl is empty, she will grab the food bowl and start to lick it.

Which brings up how much she and Apple have in common. Aside from the dog bowls:

• They both love to find inappropriate things to put in their mouth (Apple has eaten many of Lulu's baby toys and we are constantly finding Lulu with one of Apple's bones in her mouth).
• They both love to eat food off the floor. We thought Lulu was throwing food on the floor for the dog, but we have since figured out that once she is out of her highchair, she will circle back under it and promptly begin to eat the very food she wasn't interested in when it was on her tray.
• If there is a body of water, they both want in. For Apple it is lakes and rivers, for Lulu it is puddles and baths. If Lulu is awake when Perrin is bathing, she does her best to climb head first in with him. She loves to watch  from the side of the tub as it fills with water. She yells and jogs in place until she is lifted in.
• Both hate to be ignored. When Apple spots a passerby on her walk, she will lie down and wait for the person to approach. If the person does not tell her she is a pretty dog, Apple will leap straight in the air to lick their face. Lulu is much the same and will follow people around yelling at the top of her voice until they turn and smile at her. At which point she will smile back and wave hello like a sweet little girl.

But, while we love Apple, we LOVE Lulu. She brings us a lot of laughs and a lot of joy. She has learned the words 'hug' and 'kiss' and is a champion at giving them. And, even though she is strong and very independent, she knows who her family is and does frequent check-ins and hugs.

So good to be home!

We are still having issues with jet lag. Actually, Perrin has adjusted and Neal never needed any adjustment, so it is just Lulu and I having problems. She is waking up in the middle of the night ready to party - clapping her hands and laughing if I hold her, screaming at the top of her lungs if I don't. My latest strategy is to spend time with her, but to keep the lights low and to be as boring as possible. Which sounds good in theory, but the reality is it means I pat her back for two hours while staring in to space and fuming -- I know I am lucky to be able to pat the back of my new daughter, but at 2am I start to lose sight of the big picture. My remedy has been to wear the Zune and listen to comediennes while patting. I hide the Zune in my pajamas and we all win as long as I don't laugh out loud. I suppose it is not the most nuturing, but it works for us. And, hopefully this will end soon.

The rage in China is squeaky shoes for kids. I bought several pairs for Lulu and finally got her to wear them this morning. The squeaky shoes are kind of annoying and they make Apple crazy, but they make us laugh and Lulu is pretty fun to watch. You can see her squeaking here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tz5ZBdBkOzg

We are home!

I should have blogged that we made it home in one piece, but  1. I can't tell up from down since we are all so jet lagged and 2. I have wanted a little time to pass before I wrote about our trip home.

In hindsight, flying home went really well and Lulu was a doll. In the midst of it all, I silently cried and wished I was still single. So, the good news is that even at the worst moments, it was never Lulu who had my anger, it was the whole family. Is that good news? It was a long trip home that was exacerbated by my not being able to sleep the night before we left (I was too worried we wouldn't get our wake-up call and would be stuck in China for eternity) and my control issues. I was convinced that if we all slept on the nighttime Beijing to Seattle portion of our flight (11 hours), we could just skip the whole jet lag thing all together. Which seemed like a very good plan when I was booking our flights several weeks ago, but wasn't a plan that the whole family bought in to.

And, while it is understandable that Neal would read, eat and sleep on the flights since Lulu would cry if he got near her, it didn't curb my misery at watching him happily enjoy the in-flight entertainment while casually eating his dinner with a complimentary beer while I was stuck with squirmy Lulu on my lap grabbing at everything she could see.  Lulu didn't cry as long as I didn't put her down, and being happy, clapping your hands and squealing for joy is very sweet at 30,000 feet in the middle of night -- even if it didn't seem so cute at the time.

But, we are home! And, so happy to be home. Lulu fell asleep in the car on the way home from the airport (all that partying in the sky wore her out) so there was no issue with strapping her in to a car seat (one of my concerns). And, upon meeting Apple, Lulu gave her a good smack on the nose when Apple put her nose in her face. Now the two of them seem to be getting along just fine (another of my concerns). Apple clearly remembers the joy of sitting under a high chair from when cousin Charlotte visited. And Lulu likes to gnaw on Apple's old chew bones. So, it all works out in the end.

Day 12

Day 12

Today we went to the Chimelong Safari Park just outside of GuangZhou (although it ended up taking us 2 hours between traffic and getting lost, ugh!). The park is enormous and marvelous and due to the cold, rainy weather, completely empty. Total heaven! We saw lots of different animals in very large natural exhibits -- it is truly the best zoo we have ever visited. Perrin's favorite was the Red Panda, Neal loved getting a chance to hold the baby White Tiger and I am torn between the seeing baby Koala bears in their mom's pouches and the multiple Panda bears we saw chillaxing with bamboo. Lulu's favorite (I'm guessing) part was munching on a Ritz cracker while watching the spider monkeys. We only had a few hours, but could have easily spent many more. My least favorite part was towards the end when I needed a bathroom. Neal and Perrin assured me that the toilets were nice and clean so off I went with Lulu strapped to my front (remember, she won't let anyone else hold her without screaming). The bathrooms looked clean, but when I peered in to the first stall, all i saw was a hole in the ground. I am fine with squatter toilets, but not when I have extra weight adjoined to my body off-kiltering my balance. I continued down the line of stalls: squatter, squatter, squatter, squatter, squatter, squatter, squatter, toilet! Saved by the handicap stall.

After the safari park, we headed off to the US Consulate to pick up a Visa for Lulu. The Visa allows us to exit China with Lulu on her Chinese passport. Once we land in the US and clear immigration, Lulu becomes a US Citizen (although we still have a few additional steps to complete the process). The Consulate was not very memorable except for 3 things:

1. We did not recognize our child's Chinese name when it was called -- after repeating multiple times someone had to say, "um, isn't that your child's name they just called"? I guess we had never heard Dong Jia Qing pronounced by a native Chinese person.

2. Neal is phenomenally bad at, "repeat after me". We had to take an oath swearing that everything we said was true. Neal just couldn't get the words out right in the correct order. "I do solemnly swear" became "I swear solemnly do". "Everything I have said or written to the best of my knowledge was truthful" became, "Everything truthful in my knowledge best... said and written". I kept looking over at him in disbelief hoping they wouldn't let his undiagnosed learning disability block us from bringing Lulu to the US. In reality, I think he was daydreaming about the the possibility of raising White Tiger cubs in our home.

3. There was another family at the consulate adopting a 2 year old girl. They approached us and asked about Lulu because she looked remarkably like their daughter. We have often wondered about Lulu's ethnicity as she is much darker and has different shaped eyes than the other 2 girls from her orphanage. Their daughter is from an orphanage in North China, just South of Mongolia. They said that the the other babies at the orphanage also looked similar. Neal now calls Lulu his Mongolian Princess.

Because we spent the entire day out, Lulu had both her naps while I was holding her. I blame this for the looooong time (and lots of patting and rocking) it took for her to fall asleep. I really look forward to getting in to a stable routine once we are back in Seattle.

--
Amanda Myerson
cell: 206.949.7301
amandamyerson@gmail.com

Day 11

Lulu is one of three similarly aged girls adopted from the same orphanage through our agency. The third family arrived on Monday and we were finally able to meet their daughter today. Apparently these three were the Yangdong (name of the orphanage) Princesses and all good friends. It was very fun to get all three girls together, and even though we live far apart (the other families are from Alabama and North Carolina), I hope we are able to stay in touch. In some ways, these two other girls may be as close to a 'birth family' as we will get. Lulu (in the purple shirt with the bird on the front in the pictures) is the youngest of the three by a few weeks.

In the afternoon we went for a long walk in to the actual city of GuangZhou. It was interesting to see the non-touristy parts of the city and some of the local stores. It was a nice afternoon, but after almost 3 hours of walking with 25 pound Lulu strapped to my front, I almost didn't make it up the two levels of stairs we needed to go up in order to cross back on to the island. We need to get that girl into a stroller ASAP!

Day 10

We had ice cream cones for lunch today. It wasn't a planned thing, it just seemed a lot easier to eat a 50cent ice cream cone from 7-11 than to find a decent restaurant and sit down. Besides, I love pre-packaged ice cream cones while traveling.

I had chocolate, Neal had strawberry and Perrin had some weird black-bean paste flavor. In the midst of eating my cone and walking around, I felt a sudden, strong grip on my wrist. Lulu, in the front pack, had grabbed my wrist and was trying to pull the cone towards her mouth. I laughed and pointed it out to Neal and Perrin and then tried to move my arm away. But couldn't. That is one strong, determined girl. I honestly needed Neal's help to get her tight little grip off of me! But, then we decided to let her have a taste. Based on her continued face plant on to the ice cream, she liked it. Perrin didn't have ice cream until he was 3 -- and, then it was a taste of organic vanilla. Oh well.

That afternoon, Neal and Perrin visited a local park. At the park they boys fed food to the fish, ran around on the grass, and drove electric motoboats around the 'lake'. They came home refreshed and engergized and Lulu and I felt the same after an afteroon of napping and dancing in our hotel room.

Once Lulu was alseep I decided to finally head out to for a massage. My lower back and shoulders have been aching from carrying Lulu everywhere and I had a headache all day. I think Neal was happy to have the room to himself (and the DS) for a few hours.

The massage place is really a traditional medicine clinic. There were several doctors in white coats (smoking outside) available for consultation. And, there were rows of jars with Chinese labels containing different herbs and tinctures. I opted for a straight forward massage -- no accupuncture or cupping. They showed me to a clinical room that contained a massage bed and indicated that i should change and lie down. A few moments later a large man entered ready to begin.

He started the massage by pressing both hands firmly on my back. And the bed let out a long creeeeeak. I was worried it would break! But,in looking through the face hole I could see that the bed had big thick legs holding it up and the liklihood of my flatening the bed was slim. He picked another part of my back and pushed down - -creeeeeeak. And then he began to push and rock my body ,warming it up for the massage -- creak creak creak creak creak -- it sounded like a million crickets calling to one another on a warm summer night. Luckily I was face down as I started to laugh hysterically -- I was worried that I would have the giggles for the rest of the massage. But, the laughter soon died away. The following is my pain scale for Chinese massage.

0 - Yeah, this feels kind of good

1 - Wow, this guy really knows his muscles

2 - Hmm, I really hope this guy knows his muscles or I might have long term damage

3 - Gosh, I am really getting my money's worth

4 - Oh my, I wonder if I can pay him for an hour and call it quits after 10 minutes

5 - Ok, this really hurts

6 - <silent scream>

7 - <silent scream> I can't breathe

8 - <silent scream> I think he cut off my blood circulation

9 - <silent scream> I think my heart has completely stopped and I see stars

10 - Umm, I can't feel any part of my body -- I might be dead

I don't really remember the walk home afterwards, but I was feeling no pain and my headache is long gone. I might have to go again tomorrow night.

--
Amanda Myerson
cell: 206.949.7301
amandamyerson@gmail.com

Day 9

I am officially mentally done with being here. Because I am still the only person Lulu allows to hold her, I am on all the time. Every diaper change, every bath, every feeding, every rock to sleep. And, if I should disappear for a few moments (eg to wash my hands), she starts wailing. While all of these are truly enjoyable taking care of her, I would really like to be able to have an hour to myself. And a book in English. And, while I am at it, a super good shoulder massage with a masseuse who doesn't fall asleep mid-way (love you Neal!). Anyway, just wanted to make sure people don't think I've lost my ability to complain...

We want to a Buddhist temple today including a 6 Banyan Tower Something that honored the monk who started Zen Buddhism who happened to be Chinese..or something like that. I started to lost focus when Lulu started to fuss. I had her in the back pouch -- which normally she loves. But she started to fuss and I started to bounce and sway (which usually quiets her). Then, from nowhere, a woman in a guide uniform appears in front of me and passes me a package with crackers and points to Lulu and rubs her stomach to indicate she thinks Lulu is hungry. Which is impossible since she had just eaten. But, I figured I would give it a try. It is always embarrassing when a total stranger knows your child better than you. Lulu LOVED the crackers and was happy not only for the rest of the tour, but for the entire car ride home. Yeah! Based on advice from our guide, we have been trying to keep Lulu's food simple and as close to what she ate in the orphanage as possible -- bottles with formula and cereal and a little congee in the morning. We have graduated to cereal from a spoon -- which she loves -- but, tried to hold off on doing anything more until we are home. But, I figured a Chinese person knows what is OK for a Chinese baby so I passed the cracker on to Lulu with no ill effects (at least not so far). We are really torn on what to feed Lulu -- she clearly wants more than what we are giving her, and she is getting so big that we feel she NEEDS more than just a bottle and cereal. But, we don't want to push our luck while so far away from our home and familiar doctors. We were already scolded for giving her cold yogurt.

At the Buddhist temple we also had a monk give a blessing for adopted children (please ignore the fact that we are bowing down to false idols). It was very meaningful and I was totally transfixed by the monk's awesome outfit -- gray hammer-time pants and matching Nehru-style jacket. I may be losing focus...

Day 8

Yet another day off from paper work. Instead, we went touring with our guide and Lana and her family. We started off at Chen's Ancestral Lineage Hall. The building was amazing and filled with artwork by people with the last name of Chen. Insteresting. Afterwards we headed over to a shopping area that had a McDonalds (yeah) and more people sandwiched into a walking street than live in Seattle (boo). It was enough to make us happy to get back to our hotel room. The overcrowding in China is indescribable other than to say it makes you understand why so many people did each year in stampedes.

Day 7

A few people have mentioned that my blog has brought tears to their eyes. I am not sure why as most of what I have written has been happy stuff. I think.  But, writing this entry made ME cry-- so feel free to skip it and just go on to the next.

Louisa has been a surprisingly happy and easy going little girl. Sometimes when she is mid giggle and jumping up and down on me, Neal and I will look at each other and say, "guess orphanage life wasn't so bad?".  It is so hard to imagine what her life was like before coming to us. We know that she was at a fairly nice orphanage -- but, it was still an orphanage in China.

I was insistent that we all get out of the hotel room today -- even though it was raining and messy -- because we all needed a change of pace. After 20 minutes of walking around outside under an umbrella, Louisa started to lose it.  I am not sure if she has ever been out in the rain before. And, then I realized that Lulu has probably spent the past 11 months of her life moving between the same 2 or 3 rooms and didn't need a change or pace.  They didn't go on field trips. I am not sure how much time they spent outside (if any), but she probably didn't go past their courtyard.

So, it is no wonder that some times she has a hard time falling asleep. New people, new places and new foods must overwhelm her. I suspected that the first few nights of easy to bed and then an all-night sleep might not last. But, that didn't make the 90 minutes I spent rocking her to sleep any easier.

The adoption attachment books I read were pretty clear that you don't want to let a new baby "cry it out" -- that this is the time to help them learn that they now have someone who will respond to them and soothe them and give them what they need. So, when I think about this, and all the times she probably didn't have anyone to rock and soothe her, it gives me a perspective on who she is that makes all the rocking worthwhile.  And hearing her big sigh and snuggle when she finally calms down makes the last 4 years of paper chasing and waiting fade away. 

Day 6

Yeah - no appointments today! Double yeah -- Lulu let Neal feed her part of a bottle. She is still a little leary of him, but does flash him big smiles from far away. And, if she is close and he is ignoring her, she will reach out and swat him to get his attention. She doesn't want him to hold her, but she does expect big smiles directed her way. She has been swatting at Perrin since the start, but Neal is more of a new thing.

The bottle feeding was very cute, but we pushed it when I went out during her morning nap. When she woke up and found me gone, she screamed. Nothing Neal or Perrin could do would soothe her. She ended up going back to sleep for another 20 minutes until I returned. Oh well..little steps.

At our new hotel the elevators are covered in mirrors. Lulu starts to squeal and kick everytime we walk towards the elevators -- she knows she is going to see her favorite friend, Elevator Baby. Once in the elevator she laughs and smacks the walls and is in heaven -- she just loves to look at herself! The rest of us feel left out. I need to figure out where to hang some big mirrors in our house so Elevator Baby can visit. Honestly, Lulu like to see anyone Chinese -- she will stare and smile at anyone Chinese and especially likes to look at other Chinese babies. It must be so weird to go from never having seen a white person to ONLY seeing white people. We are very excited to have an excuse to spend lots of time at The Dumpling King once we are back in Seattle. It's for the baby!

When we first met Lulu she was pretty stationary. She would sit on my lap and maybe squeeze my finger. A day later, she would crawl a few steps away and come racing back. One more day and she was getting daring enough to crawl even further away and would fetch little toys I would throw out and bring them back. And today she showed us she can walk. And jump. Not many steps, and not very high, but enough to realize that we have gravely underestimated her abilities. I am already plotting the obstacle course I will put together in the basement to challenge her and the additional safety measures I will need to install. Oh boy.  She is definitely a different child than Perrin was at her age!

--
Amanda Myerson
cell: 206.949.7301
amandamyerson@gmail.com

Day 5

We were able to walk (yeah!) for the appointment to have the babies checked by doctors. This is one of the required sign-offs that is needed before you are allowed to leave the country. We were again with Lana and sweet Ansley, but were split up for the exams. When we met up again, Lana said, "that wasn't Lulu that I heard, was it?". Lulu doesn't like strangers holding her and screamed like a banshee when I had to hand her off for the different exams. I don't blame her! As Richard wisely said, "Ah, that is the temper we heard about". The exam included weighing her (20lbs and screaming) measuring her (can't remember what they said), checking her heartbeat (how they heard anything over the screaming is a miracle) and a hearing test. The hearing test, like everything else, was conducted by a man in a white coat. When we entered the room he had his feet up on the examining table and was eating an orange. He casually sat up and put the fruit down when we entered. He had me hold Lulu while he squeaked a rubber ducky (like the kind you have in bathtubs)  by her left ear and took another bite of his orange. Lulu looked at the duck and then looked at me as if to say, "what the heck?". He waited a second and squeaked the same ducky by her left ear. She glanced, he seemed satisfied and went back to eating his orange.  Very odd, but apparently we passed and that is all that matters.

That night was New Year's Eve. Perrin had a peanut butter sandwich. I ate multiple packets of yummy biscuits covered in peanut butter..if only I had looked closer at the packaging I might not have had the New Year's Eve stomach ache. Neal decided to have pasta left over from my lunch that afternoon. I jokingly recommended he heat it in the sauna in our bathroom. Apparently it was quite tasty!

Lulu was asleep by 7, Perrin by 7:30 and I was down by 8pm. Neal went out for a massage and then came home to shower and sit in the (pasta) sauna. So gross! Anyway, the important thing is that we are so excited to start the new year with the newest member of our family.